Always an aunt, never a …..

September 19, 2007 conceivingisbelieving

This past Sunday my sister-in-law gave birth to her 5th child, my beautiful new nephew. She now has 5 boys and has abandoned all hope of ever having a girl. We all have our issues. The great news is that she has a delicious little baby. I didn’t know how I would feel holding him, if it would make me sad or not. Turns out it was perfect. I saw him on Sunday, hours after he was born, and leaving him was extremely painful. I hope I don’t turn into one of those creepy people who ends up stealing other people’s babies. That would be bad.

This month is packed with Jewish holidays one after another. It’s already Yom Kippur on Saturday and then Wednesday night starts Sukkot. It’s providing a good distraction from my own monthly issues. I’m going for an ultrasound on Thursday to make sure my follicles are progressing as they should. I’m a bit traumatized from last month and very worried about what I’m going to see. Hopefully I’ll ovulate before Sukkot starts, otherwise I’ll miss the chance for an IUI. Usually at this point I’d have my calendars aligned and Dr.’s appointments set up for the big IUI day but I’m having trouble believing it’s going to happen.

In other news, I’m going to see a holistic doctor tomorrow. My ex-therapist had suggested I do this and I wasn’t into it because I really wasn’t into her. A friend at work went to see this specific doctor and had a great experience so I called up and got an appointment faster than I had hoped. I’m nervous but not because it’s something new. I know that I’m going to have to talk about all my issues and getting that all out into the open takes a major wear and tear on my emotions. He’s going to listen and say the right things and make me hopeful and then when this doesn’t work I’m going to be crushed. The other option is to stand still doing nothing and watch life pass me by. It’s time to try the next step. Not just with alternative medicine. I want to start IVF next month. It needs to happen already. It’s just ridiculous that I’ve gone on this long. How many private doctors do I have to pay before someone gets really aggressive? What are they waiting for? Me to turn 40??


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One Comment Add your own

  • 1. babystep  |  September 21, 2007 at 9:09 pm

    I was just told that trying naturally was a 1 in 1000 (or less chance) and that my IUIs were a complete waste of time! And I thought I was being proactive with the OPKs, HPTs, BBT, IUIs. We are going to start IVF next month too!

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